he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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