I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
