i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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