It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize