whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
