Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
kristin has been a bad kristin
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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