Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
