where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
