please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
