I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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