I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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