I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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