I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
