There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
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Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
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You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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