No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
