God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
