Do you still have your period?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
