this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
