I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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