please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
COCAINE IS GR8
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
