I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Sext me about skeletons
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
