It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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