I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
