Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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