She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
