Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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