You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
