So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
