Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We got so high we made milksteak
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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