Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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