I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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