I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
