FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
