i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
