My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize