problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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