You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize