hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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