And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
