i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
