benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
