bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
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