Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
