Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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