the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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