My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
