after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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