i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
