Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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