I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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