I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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