I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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