He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
