DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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