We need to rekindle our bromance
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
