im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
