Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
