Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
