You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
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He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
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Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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