do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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